Nella Vita di Costing Walmart, Saving Locals

As a lover of preservation, the earth, doing the right thing, and not condemning us all to hell, I must admit that I have committed certain sins. It has been two months since last visiting a historic site and I have had impure thoughts about a cul-de-sac. Joking aside, I have, and will continue to, shopped at chain stores including the death star of chain stores, he-who-must-not-be-named, the rose-bud of Satan's childhood: Wal-Mart. Yes, I just can't resist their cheap prices, plethora of supplies, and the golden opportunities to build my self esteem by simply be observing the so-called 'people' who shop there (myself excluded of course). I would much rather shop local independent stores, but pricing and availability makes it difficult sometimes. But I've found there are some things I can do to make an impact, albeit small. First, I always pay with plastice. Every time I swipe, Wal-Mart pays for that transaction. While normally I eschew plastic bags, I like to bag each item individually at Wal-Mart because they have to pay for those bags. Plus I get the added satisfaction of reusing Wal-Mart bags as litterbox liners and pooper-scoopers. Transversely, when I'm shopping at a local store or my favorite third place near work, I always try to pay cash so there is more profit for mom and pop. Plus I never use a bag and try to limit using plastic ware because they have to pay for those. Now in no ways am I naïve enough to think that my actions will really make a difference, but at the very least they assuage some of my chain store shopping guilt.

Nella Vita di Live Dense or Die

Came across this on at Discovery Urbanism who came across it from Good Magazine. It basically takes the population of America (just over 300 million) and has everyone living in a neighborhood the density of Brooklyn, NY (think brownstones and four story walk-ups, condos, coffee shops, pocket parks, heavan). This national neighborhood would then be able to fit within the entire state of New Hampshire! Could you imagine the remaining 49 states being left for open space (in theory...we need places for farms and industry). Granted with only about a 17 miles of sea cost things may be a little crowded come summer, but the concept definitely gives new meaning to Mr. Rogers "Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood" song.

Nella Vita di Patheticness

Dear Websters: Please use this picture next to your definition of pathetic.

Nella Vita di White Shit

I have a vivid childhood memory of being 8 or 9 and sitting out on Phyllis’ back deck one sunny Sunday morning enjoying a nice pancake breakfast. Actually, I have many great memories doing this, but this particular one, my dad shared with us something that had been passed around his office (as an aside, crazy to think that these things were once passed physically before there was email). Anyway, I just remember cracking up and thinking this was the funniest thing ever. I think it really helped shape me into the sarcastic smart ass I am today…sigh. Over the years I have reread it and it always brings a smile to my face. This year though, it resonates a little too true, but truly does capture the essence of winter better than anything I’ve ever seen or read. Incredibly, I think people across the US can relate and easily substitute their own state into the story. So for those of you who are trapped in snow hell, I present the unabridged copy of:

Massachusetts Snow Diary

AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in Massachusetts. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14
New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that rascal). A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking Snowplow!

DEC. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That Asshole!

DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this fucking ice.

DEC. 28
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

JAN. 1
Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 fucking inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his fucking head.

JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the fucker. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.

MAY 10
Moved to North Carolina today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of Massachusetts.

Nella Vita di Free Money Deux

What is better than free money? More free money. Since entering the big giveaway mentioned in my previous post I have found that one great blog begets another, and that they are just as generous as the first, if not more! So along those lines, Dream Routine is the top sponsor with a $600 cash prize for Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway which ends Sunday, January 31, 2010. Get 15 entries towards Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway by signing up for the Dream Routine Insider’s Newsletter ( http://www.dreamroutine.com/beta/ to sign up). Get 5 entries towards Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway by following @DreamRoutine (Note: You must include a link to Dream Routine’s Twitter page http://www.twitter.com/DreamRoutine/). Additionally, you can get a bonus $1000 (which I am definitely hoping for)(go here for more details http://bit.ly/7Wonsy)

I hope you all consider doing this. I can think of quite a few things I would use $1600 dollars on :) That's like 1/10 of our wedding!

Nella Vita di Free Money

So I love personal finance and wealth...this is a really sophisticated way of saying that I love money! Specifically the security and freedom (and nice things) that it brings. My beloved and I would love to one day have a swimming pool a la Scrooge McDuck, except for the fact that we would rather have that money invested and toiling in the hot financial fields day in and day out while we reap the benefits (more money!). I like to think that we are both hard workers and in addition to our full time jobs we are always looking for extra opportunities to earn more to pay off our debts quicker and gain financial freedom faster. Wealth takes work and there is rarely such a thing as free money...rarely, but not never. I just found this great opportunity to win some cold hard cash, cold hard plastic, and cold hard goodies. Money Crashers, a great finance blog, is bringing in the new year with their 2010 New Year Giveaway, a massive blowout of giveaways. Thought I would share this with the great wide world, because if I can't win any prizes, who better than my beloved readers? :)

Nella Vita di Resolutions #1: More Cowbell, Less Cow

I’ve long been an animal lover and friend of the furry. There are many out there who also consider themselves animal lovers, when said animal is tempting their palate on the famous migration route from mouth to tummy. Now, you may be thinking that this resolution is going to be about becoming a vegetarian. Well not quite. It is really a resolution to lower your carbon footprint. It’s just that it will be lowered by lowering your meat consumption. One of the simplest (and freest) ways to reduce your carbon footprint is to stop eating meat, particularly red meat, which includes Porky. However, cows are by far the biggest culprit. Underneath their cute swishy tails lurk about 5 car exhausts, and they are set to full power, eeking out a gas that has been shown to be 25% more potent that what pours out cars…I’m talking about methane (Source: IPPCC’s Third Assessment Report). A 2006 report by the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization concluded that worldwide livestock farming generates 18% of the planet's greenhouse gas emissions while all the world's cars, trains, planes and boats account for a combined 13% of greenhouse gas emissions. Today there are an estimated 1.3 billion cattle in the world (that’s about the population of China or about the population of North America and Europe…combined!). Just one (uno, un, een, eins, jeden) cow produces 65 pounds of methane gas-filled excrement per day (24 hours; 1,440 minutes; 86,400 seconds). For those averse to math, 1.3 billion cows produce 84.5 billion pounds of feces in a single day, which is over 30 trillion pounds of bullshit in one year (yummy). That’s a hell of a lot of organic compost reeking havoc on our environment.

Not to mention how totally inefficient cow meat is. Think of how many acres are grazed by cattle. Imagine those same acres are planted with grains and vegetables. The amount of food that would be generated through plants vs. cows is astronomical (I couldn’t find an exact figure like in the example about methane above, but astronomical sounds pretty scientific, huh?)

So this year, I challenge you to reduce your red meat consumption by at least 50%. For me this will mean only 1 meatball when I visit my Nonina and about a half a Philly Cheesesteak (I rarely eat meat if you couldn’t tell). Then take your gas guzzling car on a nice, long, guilt free drive through the countryside (and maybe run over a couple cows for good measure).