Nella Vita di Wedding Details

I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but also a bit of an unrealistic dreamer. In my mind I will see a project or get an idea of how I want something to look, but when it comes to executing that idea reality has a completely different idea. Getting the two to find common ground is often a frustrating battle. The details of the wedding proved to be one such a battle. I had a vision of what I wanted my wedding and reception to look like, but pesky little things like budget and time just didn't want to cooperate. I must admit I spent a ridiculous amount of time agonizing over such things as type of name card and wedding favors. I think I weighed every option available, even the most ridiculous and elaborate ones (a rotating photo cube as a centerpiece anyone? strategically placed pinwheels?). Even the night before I was still stressing over how everything would look, how it would come together, would it look cheap? And then the big day arrived and suddenly there were a million other things to stress about (like the fact that my shoes were the perfect ivory cream indoors and suddenly became stark white and horribly clashy outdoors or the fact that the heat index was over 100 and grandfathers were getting faint!) But in the back of my mind I was still worrying about how things would look, and then I arrived at the site getting ready for the ceremony and got my first glimpse into the reception hall, and everything was more perfect than I could have hoped for! It really did all come together and looked great. It was pure relief and a wonderful feeling...all that hard work had paid off, my wedding was beautiful. The rest of the evening was just one big extension of that wonderful feeling of just sheer happiness.


The two biggest ways we were able to keep the costs down was buying things in bulk online and doing things ourselves. For the centerpieces, fresh flowers were not in our budget; plus I hate having a large floral arrangement blocking people's views and conversation. Researching alternatives though so much just seemed sub par or cliche. I was super excited when I found a lot of these lanterns on ebay for a great price. The glass in the lantern was pale green so when lit with a tea light they were beautiful. To dress them up a bit I bought scrapbook paper in coordinating greens and purples. At the end of the wedding people were fighting over taking the lanterns home. In fact, I was left with none, and had to steal some back from my mother!

Early on the hubs and I decided we didn't want to use table numbers...where's the fun in that?! So instead we gave each table a unique name that somehow related to either us individually or as a couple. On each table we made table markers out of purple and green card stock that had the table name and also a sentence explaining the name. One of the best things about doing our tables this way is that it got all the guests walking around to each of the tables to read about their name, so it really helped family and friends mingle. The seating cards were simple tent cards decorated with a green paper flower. It was simple but the flower really gave them a fun feel.

Favors was an aspect of the wedding I spent a ridiculous amount of time agonizing over. But the more I looked and debated, the more disgusted I became with what I was finding. So many would just become some dusty chotchkie or find its way right into the 'goodwill' pile. It seemed like such a waste of money. So instead, after being inspired from some other weddings we attended, we decided to make a donation to the cancer society. To let our guests know, we made little cards explaining that a gift had been made to the American Cancer Society. Each card was decorated with one of five ribbons in coordinating purples and greens (see the theme).

We ended up outsourcing our wedding programs to a company because we just ran out of the time and energy to make them ourselves and found a place that did them for a great price. We had them made in the same shades of purple and green used throughout the wedding and they tied in beautifully.


In the end, if someone was looking to do a lot of their wedding details themselves or is stressing as much as I was, one of the biggest pieces of advise I could give is to not worry about getting your exact colors. Have a general range of acceptable shades. In my case it was darker purples or lavenders (no fuscia!) and earth tone greens (nothing bright or lime!). Having a range gives you much more flexibility and it helps everything to blend in together.

I truly couldn't have pulled it all off without the help of some wonderful women who I am so thankful to have in my life.

Nella Vita di Book Review

Pompeii by Robert Harris.

Shane and I listened to this book while driving around Spain on our honeymoon. As the title suggests the book takes place in Pompeii and spoiler alert, Vesuvius explodes with a force 100,000 more powerful than the Hiroshima bomb. Shane and I really didn’t see that one coming. OK, kidding aside, going into the book you know what is going to happen and the overall plot is fairly formulaic and nothing new. The main character of the book though, Marcus Attilius Primus, is the local Aquarius or engineer for the Augusto aqueduct that runs through the area. Through him, the entire event is seen in a very different perspective. What struck Shane and I, was the fact that even as the volcano was erupting no one had any idea what was happening. It was a completely new phenomenon. In listening, you can’t help but think, wow these people were primitive, how could they not know? But as Shane and I were discussing this idea, it suddenly reminded me of the 2004 tsunami disaster, where people noticed the signs that something was happening (ie, the tide suddenly going out), but unfortunately just didn’t now what was coming. In reading (well listening) to the story and knowing what was happening, we got really pulled into Attilius’ life and just kept hoping he would put the signs together fast enough to somehow prevent the tragedy that was about to unfold. Overall, I found this book to be very enjoyable, and also very informative. We were so rapt with it that we actually went out of our way to buy headphones so we could finish listening to it in the airport on Shane’s laptop after we returned the car. Definitely a fun read.

Nella Vita di One Small Step

This week’s small step for positive change is to educate yourself about sexual abuse.

Experts estimate that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday with the median age or reported abuse being 9. This is just. so. appalling. I know more than six boys and definitely know more than four girls and the thought that something like this could happen to them makes my skin crawl.

Even if you don’t have young children in your family, it is still so important to educate yourself about identifying and preventing sexual abuse in your community. Sexually abused children are more likely to have drug and alcohol problems or eating disorders as adults. They are more likely to engage in prostitution or become sexual offenders themselves. More than 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape or attempted rape. These are issues whose consequences can affect us all.

So how does one become educated? In Charlottesville, I just heard about a group called Foothills Child Advocacy Center who will be sponsoring a training of Darkness to Light’s ‘Stewards of Children’ program on July 22. I will be attending and encourage anyone in the Charlottesville area to attend too. It is one of those trainings I hope I will never have to use, but will be very thankful to have had if I ever do need it. If you don’t live in the Charlottesville area, Darkness to Light’s trainings are available across the country and you can contact them to find out where one near you may be happening. Both Foothills and Darkness have lots of useful education and resources available online.

I think every adult should be required to take this training, because no child should ever have to go through the horrors of sexual abuse that is unimaginable to most of us. It is our responsibility to protect not just our own children but all children. Every adult should know the signs to look for and know how to report and stop sexual abuse in their community. It is time to take one small step forward and let it be known that this is something that will not be tolerated!

Nella Vita di Small Steps for the Greater Good

Sometimes I wonder about humanity. Why is it that we are the way we are? I truly believe to my core that there is (or at least was at some point) good in everyone and that we each have a personal responsibility to not only be the best person we can be, but to do our part to ensure that the larger groups (family, community, world, ecosystem, universe, etc) to which we belong are the best they can be. I think that overall, we have become too selfish and self absorbed. “I’m too busy to help” or “there are other people who can do this.” At what point did we go from being a group of beings with an intense social structure to one that can’t be bothered? Was there a point in our evolutionary history where one of our ancestors decided to horde the banana it found instead of sharing? That a mother only fed her children while the young of another went without?

I think it was a series of small steps and changes that took us from being “for the good of all” to “for the good of me…and maybe for the good of all if I can squeeze it in.” But I think that deep down inside each of us it is an innate desire and need to not just belong to groups, but better them. It may be stronger in some than others, but it is all there. I think that each of us should strive to begin to take small steps toward building healthier and more prosperous communities and groups that benefit and protect all of its members. I’m going to try and bring some ideas of things you can do to affect positive change in your communities on a weekly basis as part of an on-going “Small Steps” series.

Nella Vita di Life Changes

So for like months now my poor little blog has been long neglected :( but there was a very good reason...

Hopefully once things settle down a bit I will be back to posting with more frequency.

Nella Vita di Costing Walmart, Saving Locals

As a lover of preservation, the earth, doing the right thing, and not condemning us all to hell, I must admit that I have committed certain sins. It has been two months since last visiting a historic site and I have had impure thoughts about a cul-de-sac. Joking aside, I have, and will continue to, shopped at chain stores including the death star of chain stores, he-who-must-not-be-named, the rose-bud of Satan's childhood: Wal-Mart. Yes, I just can't resist their cheap prices, plethora of supplies, and the golden opportunities to build my self esteem by simply be observing the so-called 'people' who shop there (myself excluded of course). I would much rather shop local independent stores, but pricing and availability makes it difficult sometimes. But I've found there are some things I can do to make an impact, albeit small. First, I always pay with plastice. Every time I swipe, Wal-Mart pays for that transaction. While normally I eschew plastic bags, I like to bag each item individually at Wal-Mart because they have to pay for those bags. Plus I get the added satisfaction of reusing Wal-Mart bags as litterbox liners and pooper-scoopers. Transversely, when I'm shopping at a local store or my favorite third place near work, I always try to pay cash so there is more profit for mom and pop. Plus I never use a bag and try to limit using plastic ware because they have to pay for those. Now in no ways am I naïve enough to think that my actions will really make a difference, but at the very least they assuage some of my chain store shopping guilt.

Nella Vita di Live Dense or Die

Came across this on at Discovery Urbanism who came across it from Good Magazine. It basically takes the population of America (just over 300 million) and has everyone living in a neighborhood the density of Brooklyn, NY (think brownstones and four story walk-ups, condos, coffee shops, pocket parks, heavan). This national neighborhood would then be able to fit within the entire state of New Hampshire! Could you imagine the remaining 49 states being left for open space (in theory...we need places for farms and industry). Granted with only about a 17 miles of sea cost things may be a little crowded come summer, but the concept definitely gives new meaning to Mr. Rogers "Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood" song.

Nella Vita di Patheticness

Dear Websters: Please use this picture next to your definition of pathetic.

Nella Vita di White Shit

I have a vivid childhood memory of being 8 or 9 and sitting out on Phyllis’ back deck one sunny Sunday morning enjoying a nice pancake breakfast. Actually, I have many great memories doing this, but this particular one, my dad shared with us something that had been passed around his office (as an aside, crazy to think that these things were once passed physically before there was email). Anyway, I just remember cracking up and thinking this was the funniest thing ever. I think it really helped shape me into the sarcastic smart ass I am today…sigh. Over the years I have reread it and it always brings a smile to my face. This year though, it resonates a little too true, but truly does capture the essence of winter better than anything I’ve ever seen or read. Incredibly, I think people across the US can relate and easily substitute their own state into the story. So for those of you who are trapped in snow hell, I present the unabridged copy of:

Massachusetts Snow Diary

AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in Massachusetts. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14
New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that rascal). A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking Snowplow!

DEC. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That Asshole!

DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this fucking ice.

DEC. 28
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

JAN. 1
Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 fucking inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his fucking head.

JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the fucker. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.

MAY 10
Moved to North Carolina today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right fucking mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of Massachusetts.

Nella Vita di Free Money Deux

What is better than free money? More free money. Since entering the big giveaway mentioned in my previous post I have found that one great blog begets another, and that they are just as generous as the first, if not more! So along those lines, Dream Routine is the top sponsor with a $600 cash prize for Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway which ends Sunday, January 31, 2010. Get 15 entries towards Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway by signing up for the Dream Routine Insider’s Newsletter ( http://www.dreamroutine.com/beta/ to sign up). Get 5 entries towards Money Crasher’s 2010 Giveaway by following @DreamRoutine (Note: You must include a link to Dream Routine’s Twitter page http://www.twitter.com/DreamRoutine/). Additionally, you can get a bonus $1000 (which I am definitely hoping for)(go here for more details http://bit.ly/7Wonsy)

I hope you all consider doing this. I can think of quite a few things I would use $1600 dollars on :) That's like 1/10 of our wedding!

Nella Vita di Free Money

So I love personal finance and wealth...this is a really sophisticated way of saying that I love money! Specifically the security and freedom (and nice things) that it brings. My beloved and I would love to one day have a swimming pool a la Scrooge McDuck, except for the fact that we would rather have that money invested and toiling in the hot financial fields day in and day out while we reap the benefits (more money!). I like to think that we are both hard workers and in addition to our full time jobs we are always looking for extra opportunities to earn more to pay off our debts quicker and gain financial freedom faster. Wealth takes work and there is rarely such a thing as free money...rarely, but not never. I just found this great opportunity to win some cold hard cash, cold hard plastic, and cold hard goodies. Money Crashers, a great finance blog, is bringing in the new year with their 2010 New Year Giveaway, a massive blowout of giveaways. Thought I would share this with the great wide world, because if I can't win any prizes, who better than my beloved readers? :)